MY LIFE SAVING BED BUDDY

What seem like an eternity ago.... actually it was almost 10 years ago, my life changed. I nearly died. Many times. Many times a night. I was totally unaware until....

I started to fall asleep at work while talking to people ! ... I would fall asleep standing up, sitting down, laying down and sometimes even when I was driving. It was the driving incident (s) that was my (pardon the pun) wake up call.

Off to my GP (bless her) ... who immediately sent me to an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist/Surgeon.

After discussion with him and falling asleep during the discussion, he sent me straight to Monash Medical Centre to have a sleep study done. I was told it would take 2 weeks for the data to be analysed.

I was weighed in at 144kgs, all other specifications taken and then I was connected to a gazillion (Sp?) wires and little pads which were then connected to data collecting machinery and asked to go to sleep. This was easy for me hahaha !

I recall calling hubby at 3am to come and get me. I was awake and the Hospital had more than enough data. 

I was called the following afternoon by my specialist. No 2 week wait for me !

He said I had the most severe case of sleep apnoea in my age group not only in Victoria but the whole of Australia. Whilst my eyes were shut for approx 5 hours I had only had 16 minutes of deep sleep ! I stopped breathing every 15 seconds !!!

To cut a long story short... I needed help FAST.

I needed a CPAP machine to keep my airways open whilst I slept.
Continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) is the use of continuous positive pressure to maintain a continuous level of positive airway pressure.

So off I went an got fitted for my $2000 (which 10 years ago felt like $4000) lifesaving buddy.

I have the maximum amount of airway pressure on my machine which is set to 17.

I wear a head mask  which straps on with Velcro and a silicon mould fits over my entire nose. The head mask is attached to plastic tubing which connects to the machine.
It didn't ake me to long to get used to the obstruction of wearing my mask... after all I was asleep !

I cannot and will not close my eyes without my "mask" .... I have used it continuously for almost 10 years.

It hums like an air conditioner and I look ridiculous. It does wonders for the romance department .. NOT  hehehe.

My son was only 4 when I got my CPAP and he was scared when he saw me wearing it. Both kids still hate it to this day!

My little buddy travelled to America with me in 2007 for a month and was dropped many a time by customs... it has also been on a South Pacific Cruise and various other places. It continues to be faithful.

When I reach 100 kg I will have another sleep study. Whilst the freedom of not being connect to tubes at night time will be liberating, it also scares me. I have depended on my little buddy for so long.

Hubby on the other hand ... I am sure will be elated.


Sleep apnoea is just one of my many co morbidity's of being severely obese. My bed buddy is just another companion of my life in elastic waisted pants.

A snippet of my day

What a shit of a day ! I really am having a bad week.

I had 3 hours sleep last night. My brain was in overdrive with a thousand things that I need to do before the weekend. Why do I over commit myself? Oh that's right .... people pleaser, blah blah blah

Today I was to decorate a cake for a lady I met through other friends... we have quite a few mutual friends actually. She is nice but I don't know her too well. The cake is for her daughters 17th Birthday to be picked up tomorrow morning.

I had almost finished her cake, (which had taken about 5 hours more than I allowed for) when I checked my email to double the spelling of her daughters name. To my horror I saw that she requested white icing. I had iced the cake pink. My heart was in my mouth. This cake has 60 hand made and hand dusted flowers stuck on it...  I swear I was having a panic attack.
I had no option but to call her and confess. I was prepared to start again even if it meant I didn't go to bed tonight.
THANKFULLY, she said her daughter loves pink and it was no problem.
I have NEVER stuffed up like that. I have way to much going on and really need to take a few deep breaths !

Hopefully when she picks it up tomorrow she will like it ....... Hopefully.

Every day there is cake around me.  Luckily for me I don't really enjoy Mississippi Mud Cake which is the most requested.  But I do have a soft spot for White Chocolate Mud cake .... and this week there is an abundance of it around me.

I took a couple of very stressful phone calls and my blood was pumping. I walked straight into my kitchen  to eat cake !!!!

Thankfully I stopped myself. But I haven't stopped wanting that cake all day. Is it because I am not "Allowed" to have it? or because I am craving sugar?

Who knows? who cares?  I had a banana instead.

I have so many things / issues / problems / projects / stressors etc going on .

I am making it my mission to tackle one at a time.

Right now it's my weight.

On July 11th I joined The Biggest Loser Club on line and have also registered to take part in Shannan Pontons 8 week challenge which starts on August 13th.

I weighed in at 136.8kgs. I have stuck to the 1200 calorie a day allowance and am seeing some movement on the scales.  I have not exercised as yet.

Last night I cooked the most amazing meal from the Bikini Cook Book - Baked Lamb Loin with Feta Field Mushrooms. I swapped artichoke hearts for spinach to fill the mushys though. I still can't believe it was only 230 calories per serve !! As Above (and below) Yes that's a photo of my dish, its not the cook book photo !    I highly suggest these cook books to everyone that is calorie counting. Every dish is under 300 calories per serve.

We also ate from the cook book tonight. On the menu was Braised Beef with Mushrooms (Slow Cooker). 237 calories per serve ! I had 1 1/2 serves as i was down on my calories :)

Anyway, Enough of my dribble... here's to a better nights sleep and a ridiculously busy day tomorrow!

A brief Intro to me and my weight loss journey

Hi,

If you have stumbled across this and don't know who I am then I had better introduce myself !

I am very happily married with 2 teenagers... a daughter 16 and a son about to turn 14. I am also the proud mummy to 4, yes FOUR fur babies.... more about them another time!

I  am a Part Time Public Servant and am also passionate about Cake Decorating.

I have never blogged in a public forum before, quite frankly it scares me but it’s time for me to get real with myself and bare all.

 

I make no apology for anything I write, the language I use or the way the reader perceives my journey. After all, this is my journey and one I have chosen to share with you. I have spent far too long worrying about what others think of me. I am a people pleaser... should I say WAS a people pleaser. Well trying to change my ways lol

In January 2012 I celebrated my 40th Birthday. I had the best night. Over 100 family and friends joined me in a semi formal atmosphere.

I was originally going to have a fancy dress theme so that I could hide my body in a costume, but I decided it was unfair to my guests to pay to hire an outfit (my people pleasing ways!)

I was about to see some girlfriends that I hadn't seen since Primary School !

Well what does a severely morbidly obese middle aged woman wear that is semi formal? I should have thought it through better hahaha !

My only answer was to get something made. I already had a nice skirt... elastic waisted of course, so I only needed a top.
I found a lady in Brisbane who sewed for the larger lady, so off I went to Spotlight, picked up some sparkly and stretchy material and posted it to her.

One week later I had my sparkly tent top. It served me well on the night, it was comfy.

A couple of days later, my hubby, who is a professional photographer, emailed me 300+ photo's that he snapped on the night.

That was my BIG REALITY CHECK.

When I saw the photo's .... you know ... the ones that you are not prepared for, the ones where you can hide your body or tilt your head a certain way etc .... well .... I freaked.

I got on the scales and bam ... 154.4 kgs stared back at me.... I am only 154cms tall.

I decided then and there I would lose 40kgs in my 40th year .... no ifs or buts. My first major goal was to lose 20kgs for my daughters 16th birthday in June. I made it (plus 2 more kgs).... I was so proud

My daughter had a fairly big party with lots of food that I hadn't eaten for 6 months.... that was the start of my downfall. Just a bit of this and a bit of that etc Between June 7th and July 11th (5 weeks) I gained 4kgs.

So that's what brings me here.

Yep fell off the waggon with a big freaking bang !

It’s time for me to work out why I do this to myself and how I am going to prevent it from happening again.

I am an addict.

No doubt about that!

In my lifetime I have been able to kick two addictions that had hold of me.

The first, a gambling addiction which saw me lose a shitload of money …

The second, cigarettes. I was smoking 55+ a day …. Disgusting right?

Somehow, with strength mustered from goodness knows where, I was able to conquer both.

I haven’t gambled seriously in over 10 years…. A very occasional flutter on the pokies or a Melbourne Cup Sweep etc… neither of which stimulates me in anyway to delve further.

I gave up smoking on May29th, 2005. It’s been over 7 years since I have drawn nicotine into my lungs.

If you decide to stay with my blog, you will be subject to some horrify photo's as I get the courage to make them public.

 

My reinvented diet started again on July 11th 2012.

I wonder how many of you will actually be interested in my life in elastic pants.

Hold on tight ..... this is going to get bumpy !